The Learning Curve | Regaining Lost Momentum
Take control of your momentum by understanding limbic friction.
Read time: 5 mins
Parenthood brings joy, but it can also disrupt our routines and goals. Understanding how to regain lost momentum is crucial for maintaining personal growth and fulfillment amidst new responsibilities.
Today, we'll look at how to regain lost momentum, with expert perspectives and some actionable steps.
It is a plan I've created for myself, and I hope to look back at this one day and say this plan worked out.
I, like many, have struggled to adapt to the demands of parenthood, leading to a loss of focus and productivity. Without a clear strategy, it's easy to give in to instantly gratifying distractions.
Regaining momentum isn't about making drastic changes overnight but rather committing to small, consistent actions that compound over time.
Personal time before and after kids
Before our (amazing!) son arrived, I enjoyed the freedom to pursue my passions at whim - whether it was going for a run, indulging in a favorite TV series, or immersing myself in YouTube rabbit holes. But with parenthood came a profound shift.
Suddenly, my priorities expanded, and I had to learn to navigate the added responsibilities while carving out time for myself. Being my best self would allow me to be the best dad and husband I can be. That's the way I see it.
It has taken a while to figure out ways to find time to pursue things I want that aren't directly involved with my family. It can cause frustration and feelings of guilt.
Building a schedule according to my priorities has made a significant change.
Below left: my momentum with this newsletter, represented by growth of total subscribers Below right: loss of momentum demonstrated visually by Jack Butcher/Visualise Value
Limbic Friction
Have you ever felt like there's an invisible force holding you back from doing something you know you should be doing?
That's what neuroscientist Andrew Huberman calls "limbic friction". A fancy term for the internal struggle we experience when trying to overcome certain feelings or states that prevent us from taking action.
These states include anxiousness and feelings of tiredness, laziness, or demotivation.
Like when you want to start a new exercise routine, but every time you think about going to the gym, you find a way to talk yourself out of it.
Understanding this limbic friction helps us recognise when we're facing internal barriers that are holding us back. Once we identify these barriers, we can find strategies to overcome them and regain momentum in our lives.
For me, that's making the most of the 2 hours in the morning to myself with a little morning exercise and crossing off things on my to-do list, like research and writing these newsletters, until the rest of the house wakes up and needs me.
The clip above is timestamped to the point in the episode where Andrew Huberman explains limbic friction in his own words. The full episode with notes is here: The Science of Making & Breaking Habits
Finding time by prioritising
Saying "I don't have time" is the same as saying "It isn't a priority to me".
It is easy to overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making small improvements daily.
Too often, we think we need to make huge changes to make progress, but small steps matter more than we realise.
Improving bit by bit isn't particularly notable, or noticeable, but it is far more meaningful in the long run. The difference a tiny improvement can make over time is demonstrated below:
Source: Atomic Habits by James Clear
The maths goes like this: If you get 1% better every day for a year, you'll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you're done. If you get % worse each day for a year, you'll decline nearly down to zero.
What starts as a small win or a minor setback accumulates into something much more.
Talking about success as an event is glamourised, but little improvements add up to something big over time.
This is why the system is greater than the goal. This is why prioritising habits is more important than achieving a certain outcome.
Source: Zach Pogrob (IG @zachpogrob)
As we started to find a new rhythm and routine with a baby in the home, I set about blocking out bits of my day in the calendar, and look for daily small wins.
Further reading: This Coach Improved Every Tiny Thing by 1 Percent and Here's What Happened
Regaining lost momentum
These six steps are some of the tangible ways I’m working to regain the momentum I lost.
It’s a work in progress but I’m remaining hopeful as I follow a proven pathway.
Admit you are stuck - regaining momentum starts by admitting you've lost it. I'm stuck in my work, but I'm determined to provide for my family and keep improving.
Assess your readiness - You cannot assume you are ready to regain momentum if your situation says otherwise. Sometimes life gets in the way, like when my wife had surgery. Now she's recovering, I'm finding time for myself again.
Set clear goals - Picture what you want your future to look like. I won't share mine yet, but I know where I'm headed.
Attach a link from existing momentum to where you're stuck - I've found time to exercise in the mornings, and I'm using that momentum to progress in other areas, like this newsletter.
Ask wise people for help - there's no reason to do it alone. Whether it's family, friends, or mentors, getting support can make all the difference. They can help us identify limiting beliefs and provide much-needed encouragement.
Apply yourself to daily action - It's not about doing everything at once. Just focus on one thing at a time, and eventually, you'll get there. Manresa wasn't built in a day and neither will momentum be regained overnight.
Conclusion:
If you got this far, thank you.
Remember, consistent action and prioritisation are key to regaining momentum.
My challenge is parenthood. Yours might be something else.
Reply to this email and let me know your challenge. I'd love to know and, if you're up for it, have a chat about it.
Here's me signing off, hoping I can write another edition in the future, saying perfectly this plan worked out for me.
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See you in two weeks.
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