Why shared meals matter
Discover how shared meals can transform your social life and well-being this summer.
Read time: 5 mins
Can you believe it's June already?
With summer here and a few dinners with friends already being planned, it got me thinking about why shared meals are common place for socialising. Despite our modern distractions, socialising with food has brought people together for generations.
Understanding the history and benefits of socialising over food helps you appreciate the moment, focus on who you're with rather than what you're eating, and strengthen social bonds.
Distractions like phones and busy schedules often keep us from enjoying the full benefits of eating together.
I can't help but picture a city worker walking with his phone in one hand and a supermarket sandwich in the other. We focus on convenience instead of sharing a meal, which can make us feel lonelier.
Made with Adobe Firefly. Prompt: a city office worker waiting for a train on a bench at the station with his phone in one hand and a tiny sandwich in the other; concept of fast food shopping; cinematic
At a glance:
Meals with loved ones
Networking over meals
Mediterranean cultures
Meals with loved ones
Sharing meals has been an essential part of human life for over 10,000 years.
It's a time when trust and cooperation are built through face-to-face interactions that strengthen emotional bonds.
Growing up in an Indian family, our gatherings almost always centered around food.
There is a social aspect at every stage, from shopping for ingredients to preparing and cooking, to then passing around big bowls and plates at the table or sitting on the floor on huge mats. (Images below from Diwali 2021 - Mum and Vishal telling Eva how to prepare bhatura.)
Unfortunately, it took me leaving this environment to realise the benefits of shared meals. I've started my own family now, but there were many years of meals with my tablet watching Netflix/YouTube in between.
Calming effect Shared meals regulate the nervous system, shifting our bodies from a 'fight-or-flight' state to a more relaxed 'rest-and-digest' one, promoting calmness.
Healthier eating Families eating together tend to have more nutritious and less processed foods.
This leads to better overall health, as it usually involves balanced, home-cooked meals, which can help prevent obesity and chronic illnesses.
(Not always the case in Indian food culture, as opposed to Mediterranean food culture - something I preach to my own family now with little success. This topic could be its own newsletter.)
Stronger social bonds Face-to-face meals make it easier to communicate directly.
It's a chance to provide emotional support and create a sense of belonging and community.
At our extended family meals, I could ask advice from someone other than my parents (because we rarely listen to them, even when they're right) or chat about TV, games, and sports with my cousins.
Networking over meals
Sharing meals with people you don't know can also be a powerful way to connect.
Intuition synchronisation Sharing food can synchronize intuition even among strangers.
Dr. Diego Bohórquez notes that business deals are more likely over lunch or dinner due to this synchronicity in decision-making.
Ice breakers
Shared meals can break down social and professional barriers, making it easier to communicate and build rapport.
I remember my first traditional calçotada in Catalonia.
It didn't matter if the person next to me was an unemployed carnivore or a vegan CEO—we had the longest conversation about different types of onions.
Food brings diverse people together, sparking interesting conversations.
Relaxed atmosphere
Eating together makes things less formal and more relaxed.
I think back to corporate events and the drinks break.
You could meet someone reaching for the same thing as you, and even if it's awkward, everyone is relaxed enough to make nothing out of it and end up discussing the food or the event itself.
(Also, why do these events hire photographers to take photos of attendees just as they take a bite?)
Finger food from a recent event I covered
Building trust
Over the years we've become accustomed to being sold to constantly, meaning we have a finer filter for it and can detect when we're being sold to a mile away.
After talking about all the varieties of onions and not being sold to in your first interactions, it's easier to build trust after a pleasant first impression.
Mediterranean cultures
Living in Catalonia for over ten years now, shared meals and hands all over all the plates at the table has become normal. There's no fighting it so you can't beat them, join them.
It's a way of life here, embedded over a long time, with social and environmental factors to boost.
Historical traditions: Farming practices in the Mediterranean, especially growing olives, grapes, and grains, encouraged community gatherings and shared meals as part of harvest celebrations and festivals. In the Bages region where I'm based, there are all sorts of unique food festivals.
Dietary practices: The Mediterranean diet is full of fresh fruit and veg, grains, and olive oil, all promoting health and long life. This diet naturally encourages communal eating with dishes like large salads, paellas, and tapas.
Outdoor lifestyle: The Mediterranean climate supports outdoor gatherings for much of the year. June marks the start of long dinners with friends outdoors, reinforcing the habit of communal eating in beautiful settings, bringing people together.
Slower eating: Meals in a community setting help slow down the eating process and lead to better digestion. Conversations while eating prevent rushing through meals and also help shift focus away from day-to-day stress.
Are fairy lights mandatory for summer dinners? Photo from our wedding, by Tina Riera
The key ingredients
All in all, eating outdoors with good food and good conversation are the key ingredients in a joyful shared experience.
This focus on enjoyment over just eating gives us a mental break and lifts our spirits.
The positivity we can then bring to other parts of our life.
Final thought:
If you got this far, you're part of 72% of subscribers, so thank you.
It's amazing how it doesn't matter if it's crispy bhajiya with family, chunky chips at the pub, or patatas bravas on a terrace - put fried potatoes in the middle of a table and people will gather like magic.
Putting this together makes me want to carry out a little experiment of my own, so here goes nothing...
Interested in meeting fellow readers over a meal? Send me an email, and I'll organise an event if there's enough interest. I already have a couple of venues in mind.
(It would be in Manresa, but the rest of you are free to take a look at flights...)
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See you in two weeks.
Has
